My Child Has Lost His Mind

I have to share this. Shecky isn't even HERE and he's cracking my shit up! I was just on the phone with Mom. We were talking about Father's Day and what Dad needs etc. Suddenly, I hear my child's voice over a walkee talkee. I can't really understand what he's saying but then I hear Sparky's voice saying that Shecky was trying to "Change the channel". Now, I'm completely confused at this point. I was like... "The Hell?" Mom provided the following explanation:

Three of the kids have walkee talkee's. Shecky, Sparky and one of the other kids they've been playing with. They all use them to talk to their parents/guardians up at the lake and let them know what they are doing or where they are going. Its a neat little system really. Each child and corresponding guardian is on a specific channel 1, 2 or 3. (It makes sense. This way there is no cross talk or confusion as to which child is doing what.) However, the kids want to be on the same channel to talk to one another.

Now, being the top notch problem solver that I am, I commented that there should be more than 3 channels. Why don't they use one of the others to talk to each other on. Mom confirmed that there are like 8 channels. I, once again, asked why not use one of the others and this was her reply...


"They could but... they're all riding around together on the same golf cart."

I... have... no... words. Well, except, "The HELL?" LOL

Phone Ettiquite

OH MY GOD! I'm going to rant a bit here about people that call Customer Service Centers. If you do any of the things I'm complaining about please, please, for the love of all that is holy and helpful, consider what I'm saying and think about it from the other end of the conversation before you call again.

We hate it when people call unprepared. You know that when you call about an insurance policy or a warranty that you will need certain information when you call. Your name, phone number and oh.... maybe, just MAYBE your POLICY NUMBER. Now, if you are calling to GET said policy number we understand. Really we do. If you are NOT calling to get that policy number please have it ready when you call. Yes, we realize you've probably been multitasking due to the hella long wait to get a real live person. However, that wait is, at least in part, due to the OTHER 25 people we've just spoken with who didn't have their initial information ready for us either. Help others, help yourself, yanno?

Speaking of the unholy waiting you may have to do when you call, yes, we know its irritating. We know its inconvenient and believe me we are freaking out on our end that there's a call that's been holding for 15 minutes. However, yelling at us about it once you get through to us is NOT going to fix the problem you're having. In fact, its going to keep you on the phone even LONGER without resolution because you still haven't told us what the problem IS. We know the frustration you're feeling and we want to help you, so let us help you.

Finally, we know its difficult to believe, but many CSR's actually DO care about your problem and want to help you. A lot of us are in this field because it gives us a sense of doing something that matters to someone. A sense of satisfaction that we've made a difference to someone, even if its a small one. Don't assume we don't have a heart and that we're going to take the easy solution even if it doesn't really fix the problem. Explain the situation to us fully, yet succinctly. Make sure we have all the NECESSARY information to identify the problem and find the correct solution for you. Have the PATIENCE necessary for us to handle your problem in a complete manner.

Often times CSR's don't have the authority to fix your problem without running it by someone else or getting approval from someone above them. Don't get snippy with us if we have to pass your call to someone else or if we have to put you on hold to get the situation fixed. Know that we are doing all we can for you and sometimes that means a little extra time on the phone so we can be SURE its completely taken care of for you.

One FINAL suggestion. When you know you're completely fed up and you KNOW you're going to blow your stack at the poor, underpaid CSR on the other end of the phone, do what I do.

"I'd like to speak with a supervisor. They don't pay you enough to put up with what I'm about to be throwin' down."

Works like a charm... every time. :D

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I got sick of all that bright pink. Someone should have TOLD me how annoying that was!!!! Heh. New mascot... new layout... new color palette... lemme know what ya think!

Empty Nesting

Shecky has been gone, visiting the grandparents, for a week... and I miss him horribly. I talk to him every day, several times a day, and his lil' voice on the other end of the line just hurts me. Don't get me wrong, he's having a BLAST and I'm glad for him and I'm grateful for the opportunity for him to be there running around like a wild Indian and just being a kid. It's fantastic to hear him tell me about how many times he went swimming that day and how long he rode his 4-wheeler, who he played with and what silly things he and his grandparents have done. I HATE talking to him at night, close to his bedtime. He's sleepy. Heck, he's completely worn out. That's when he says things like, "I'm sad. I wish you and Daddy were here every day with me." That's when he misses us. That's when my heart hurts. I'm going to see him this weekend. J is gonna take me up there. R has to work all weekend and can't go. He won't get to be with him on Father's Day. While I'm there we'll make him a card that I'll bring home to him, but it won't be the same.

How do the rest of you handle summers? Do you send your kids to camp? Do they make extended visits to grandparents? Do they go to daycare? How do you deal with the emptiness their absence causes? How do you make them feel better about being apart? Lemme hear from you.

The Ball, She is A-Rollin'

Well, I've started the foot/paper work involved in having the Gastric Bypass Surgery. My PCP referred me to a Dr. Dexter G. Turnquest. I've e-mailed his office requesting information and a consult.

I'm still going to my folks place by hook or by crook to work out in the water and take care of myself in other ways. I just want to get this started and get the consult out of the way before I go. Its very likely I'll have to do another medically supervised diet before my insurance will approve me for the surgery but I'll do whatever I have to to make this work. (When I say THIS I mean weight loss not just the surgery.) Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Mental Meanderings...

I had an interesting conversation with my brother yesterday. He tried to call me over the weekend to see how I was. He reached me at our folks place and we talked a bit of politics, my health, his health... the usual. It was great to hear from him and to know he cared enough to check in on me. However, yesterday he confessed the reason he had the urge to call me. He had a stray thought, well more like scenario, play through his head and it wigged him out a bit and made him very worried about me.

He envisioned my death and the aftermath of it. Apparently, in his mind's play, I had died and rather than having my casket wheeled about on a gurney Dad decided they would carry me. This is no small feat considering my size. As a result of my weight, they had to have a casket made out of a special lightweight material that... apparently... wasn't strong enough to hold me. My body came tumbling out of the bottom of the casket and fell to the ground.

I laughed when he told me. Just because, due to the absurdity of the situation, I could actually SEE that happening. He, however, didn't see the humor. He kept saying its NOT FUNNY and commenting on how worried he was about my health.

He made me stop and think last night. Its nice to know he's concerned about me. That my state of being affects him. It sucks that he has a reason to worry. I hate that my health and my weight have reached a critical point that causes such worry in the people I love.

::Grabbing Boot Straps:: So... I go... once again, into the fray. The doctor has the paperwork for short term disability. We'll see if it gets approved. If its NOT approved, I'll apply for a personal leave of absence and go to my folks for the summer. I'll exercise in the lake and I will help Mom cook meals that are healthier and I will count points until I'm blue in the face and I WILL loose some of this fricking weight. I don't want my parents, my brother, my husband, my friends or my CHILD to have to worry about my keeling over. Sometimes I loose sight of the fact that what happens to me effects those around me.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I dropped Shecky off at my parents for 4-6 weeks of fun at the lake and bein spoiled at the grandparents. My phone rang a short time ago and THIS... THIS is the conversation I just had:

Shecky: Momma... can grandpa give me a Mohawk?
Me: ::laughing:: Sure honey
Shecky: SHE SAID YES GRANDPA!
Grandpa (in the background): She has to tell ME yes.
Grandpa (on the phone with me now): So... can I give him a Mohawk???
Me: Dead Silence for a moment
Me: Oh what the hell... it'll grow out before school starts.....
Grandpa: REALLY? (HAPPILY I may add lol)
Me: Sure... Go for it
Shecky: (Whooping and hollering) I LOVE YOU MAMA!
::Click::

OMG... what have I done???

Update: Shecky opted NOT to have the Mohawk. I guess he decided that if it was OK with Momma it can't be NEARLY as cool as he thought it was lol.