Tell Me Lies... Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

So... Surgery is in one week.... from today.

My child leaves for Abilene to spend time with Husband's side of the family Saturday.

I'm having random crying jags and freaking out of stuff that isn't important...

Yeah... I'm stressing over the surgery.

People keep asking if I'm OK with it and I keep saying, "Yeah! I'm not worried about the SURGERY! It's the recovery I'm dreading! Let's hope it goes better than last time!"

LIES!

Yeah... I'm scared of the surgery. It's freaking my ass out. My friends, I'm a control freak... this surgery? Yeah, I have NO control over how it goes. I'll be unconscious. Helpless. Ummm... ok... I'm gonna think about something else now... I can feel the panic attack bubbling up again....

Cute Shecky Moment:

He got the Iron Man video game for the PS2. Throughout the game Pepper gives you directions when you aren't achieving the goals quickly enough... I heard THIS the other night:

"Yes, I KNOW Pepper! SHUT. IT!"

I about pee'd myself.

I Can Has...

Attitude Adjustment? I've spent the better part of my free time on I Can Has Cheezburger and I'm feeling MUCH better now! :) I know you've all prolly been there but mah GAH is that schiz funny!

Ah-CHOO!

ZOMG my allergies are trying to KILL me. I walked into this house and I CANNOT. STOP. SNEEZING! I'm all congested. I feel like hell warmed over. Even a sub-par Johnny Depp movie can't make me feel better tonight. Thank the GODS Husband is feeling helpful enough to run out to CVS for me. Sudafed... I love you. Hurry home to me!


::that loud SPLAT you just heard... yeah... that was my sinus cavity caving in... meh::

Who IS This Kid?

Shecky confuses me sometimes. This morning he popped out of bed, got dressed, made his bed, brushed his teeth... all without my having to say a WORD to him. Usually, I have to threaten him with bodily harm to get him out of bed much LESS moving! WTF?

THEN... he decides to take it upon himself to make his own lunch... ON PIZZA DAY at school. (Pizza is the only food group according to him.) When I asked him why he said, "I'll have Pizza on the 31st. Pizza isn't good for you anyway, Mom." WTF?

THEN, he is SO determined to take the test over the library book he checked out that he reads the book to me and answers all the questions without pausing. He paid full attention to what I was asking and didn't get distracted ... or... anything. WTF? WTF?

I have no clue who this child is but I kinda like him... and I'm kinda... Scared of him! heh.

(My Dad SWEARS all this HAS to be due to some lil girl he's crushin' on... Who loves to read... and prolly makes her own lunches... groan... Gawd Help Me! He's ONLY 7!!!!!)

How Low Can Ya' Go?

I want to apologize for my lack of posts lately. I seem to be loosing my resolve for a lot of things and I'm not sure why.

I seem to have hit a bit of a plateau with my weight loss. I'm more easily tempted to stray from the eating plan and yet at the same time I don't really want to eat... anything.

I'm still walking but its becoming a chore. Something I HAVE to do rather than something I WANT to do. My legs, they hurt. They're tired. So am I.

I have little or no patience with Shecky lately. I know he's tired after school but when I try to study with him or quiz him for a test its like he doesn't even try. He swears he's trying and he's focusing but I get more frustrated and angry each time he gives an incorrect answer.

I seem to be tired a lot. I'm sleeping well at night but during the day I just get so... listless. I don't want to do much of anything and when I DO make the effort to do something I'm just sort of... meh... about the whole thing.

WTF is WRONG with me lately? Is the single parenting getting to me? (Husband tries but he's not here for the day to day stuff that I get frustrated with.) Is it the lack of progress on the weight loss? Am I just going through a bit of depression again? If it IS depression do I just ride it out or do I talk to my DR about it? (By Dr I mean PCP not shrink. I dun have one of those... Mebbe I NEED one... bleh) Am I just tired of feeling alone all the time?

Husband and J are trying to make things as easy for me as possible. (J is someone very close to me and he and Husband share an apartment). They bought me a brand new laptop this past weekend and I was thrilled. Tickled pink. Unfortunately, the baseline BLEH I've been feeling is still there.

I've avoided posting in the hopes that this would just... pass. I didn't want to whine to the internets about how out of sorts I am but at this point... mebbe it will help. God knows not much else is!

I refuse to end this entry on such a downer. Here's a random story from when Shecky was a kid:

When Shecky was 2 or 3 he was OBSESSED... with Bob the Builder. I don't remember how he got introduced to that show, those characters, but he LOVED it. He was visiting my parents one summer while Dad was still finishing his build of this house. A friend of theirs was helping him. Shecky wandered out to where they were working and Dad introduced Sheck to his friend. Shecky, wide eyed and in awe, looked at this new person, holding a hammer, working on his Grandpa's house as my Dad said, "This is Mr. Bob." and then Shecky replied... "Bob... the... BUILDER!!!!" HE STILL calls him that... today... heh. Kids

{edited cause spellcheck doesn't catch it when I use the wrong word.. cough...}

Someone PLEASE Explain My Childs Learning Process?

OMG... Shecky is KILLING me. He had a spelling test today. Since Monday was a Holiday they only had one day to learn the words before the test. (Usually they get their spelling words list on Monday.)

Last night we drilled and drilled and DRILLED on the words. Two words, "weighed" and "searched" were giving him brain cramps. Every time I would call one of those two out for him to spell he would groan and whine and bitch and complain cause they were haaaaaaaaaaard. I finally stopped drilling him on them because his frustration level was through the roof.

He came home with his test today... He spelled them right... and MISSED two words he KNEW! WTF?

I was cracking up when I saw it and swatted him playfully on the back of the head and called him a dork. They will retake the test Friday so we'll keep studying the words... ALL OF THEM.