Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Bucking up! (That's Bucking... with a "B")

I went to my meeting this afternoon. I was still feeling rather down about the low weight loss. As the other members of our at work group weighed I started hearing rumblings. "I only lost 1 lb." "I maintained, whoo." I realized I wasn't alone in my disappointment. I realized I was, in fact, NOT being realistic in my expectations. (Shock! Surprise! WHAT??? ME? NOT realistic in my expectations???? Bite me. Heh ) 1.4 pounds isn't a lot in relation to how much I have to loose. It IS a start though. I lost almost 6 sticks of butter. I said that to my mom on the phone last night but I didn't really see the value in it. It was like, "Well, it IS almost 6 sticks of butter..." My internal monologue went something like this, "AND? You need to loose like 1228 sticks woman. That's NOTHING!" (Yes I actually did the math. Calculators are a wunnerful thing.) This time as I run it through my head I realize that's a lot of fricking butter. Its fatty and greasy and guh! NOT IN ME ANYMORE. That's a happy thing.

I tend to try and look at the whole picture too much. I do it in almost all aspects of my life. Sometimes, its a great way to view situations. It lets me look at different angles and possibilities and play Devil's Advocate. However, I'm finding with weight loss all it does is leave me feeling overwhelmed and antagonized and anxious because I have SO much more to loose.

Here's my solution. I'm setting small goals for myself. My first Mini-Milestone is to be able to weigh at the regular meeting here at work. I have 16 pounds until I reach that goal. Normally, in the past, I would reward myself for meeting this goal with something food related. Dinner out, some decadent dessert, whatever. THIS time I'm gonna feed my passion. I love to sing. It makes me feel alive and "in my happy place". It makes me feel like I'm firing on all cylinders. I'm going to start singing again. Just here at home. I'm going to buy some Karaoke CDs for myself and use Shecky's Karaoke machine. (I figure SOMEONE should get some use out of it.) I'm going to start doing my vocal exercises again and I'm going to sing again and not be afraid.


Oh, The Joys said...

One day at a time. It is a slow process. It took me months and months and months. YOu can do it. Hang in there.


Butrfly4404 said...

WARNING: This is going to be long!

~Didn't you mention at Lena's place a few days ago that you were going to start a blog under this name if you ever did? That's why I clicked your name (I don't remember a link there before?). I'm SO GLAD you did!
~I belong to a blog group called
Future MILF's. It was organized by Mom-O-Matic...as she says "We're losing our collective bigass together." Some of us have a lot of weight to lose, some a little. Some of us do WW, some SparkPeople - and all the rest of the diets, too. You should check it out, there are A LOT of us! I'm sure you're bound to find some supportive readers and friends!!
~DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP over "Only" one pound. To lose weight safe and effectively, you should "only" be losing 1-2 pounds a week. I know when you're counting down from a bigger number, it doesn't seem like much, but you have to see the value in that WHOLE POUND or where is your hope and motivation going to come from? That said, your first goal is wonderful! It's good to set smaller marks that are a little easier to obtain. You've got to be realistic. I hope you gave yourself at least 10 weeks to achieve it. And overall, it's probably going to take a few years before you lose the majority. And that's okay, because every step you take forward is going to benefit you. Haha, like the back of my Baked! Doritos says: "Fitness is a journey, not a destination." (It's cool to quote junk food when talking about weight-loss, right?) I know I'm coming in here sounding quite forward, but I think it's absolutely wonderful that you are making the decision to be healthy and I don't want you to be deterred over only ONE POUND..you know?
~Hmm, that said....I've been working my butt off adding exercise (it's FINALLY nice weather here!!), I've been doing 2x a week on the elliptical, walking almost every day, doing yoga every chance I get...and I GAINED FIVE POUNDS. VERY VERY VERY discouraging. But I'm not going to let it get me down, right??? I think I'm going to learn from your last post and try cutting out some carbs/adding protein and **Sniff** giving up my pre-bed snacking.

Good Luck, Tessa! It's a lot of work, but it's VERY rewarding!!

Tessa said...


Thanks for the encouragement and I'll definitely check out the MILF site. (How awsome would it be to be a MILF rather than fearful that I'm an embarassment? MUCHO MUCHO!)

I am the one from Lena's place who said if I ever started a blog I'd name it Mean Girls Need Not Apply. I was originally thinking of a Mommy Blog but it applies to the weight loss blogginess too. This blog will prolly end up a combination of both but right now my focus is my weight loss. Its gotta be. I've been hesitating about starting a blog for a long time but something happened this weekend that made me stop short and just do it. Mebbe I'll post about that tonight.

Thanks for the encouragement and please feel free to stop by and comment or chat with me on AIM anytime. :)


Robin said...

Good for you Tessa! Feeding into your passion is an excellent, positive way to reward yourself rather than with food. I applaud you!!!!! Okay, so I fall off the wagon once in a great while and use a food reward. Hey, I'm working on it. I never said I was perfect. lol But I too have gone back to one of my few passions...it still has to do with writing, but ...it's writing music. Yep, I went out and got myself a new twelve-string guitar. Everytime I want to reach for food...I reach for my guitar instead.
And don't be discouraged over one pound. One pound is a lot...really! Think of it this way... it may be one pound, but it's one pound my body will never, ever see again! Butterfly is right. Lose it slow and lose it right and you'll never see those lost pounds on you again.