Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Such is the state of my mood.
However, I DID loose .7 lbs last week with Thanksgiving AND PMS... Take THAT! Heheh
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I have a couple of updates on my weight loss/health issues. I gained .3 lbs this week. POINT THREE. Damn it. It couldn't have just stayed the SAME yanno? lol
I was much more immobile last week. Spent a lot of time at the dinning room table baking. Bleh.
I DID manage a milestone today though. I BEAT THE WALMART MONSTER. We went into town today and I managed to do the shopping, for an hour, walking. NO SCOOTER! WOOT! I'm tired and sore but it was so worth it!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
I had a great weekend. Played Eternal Sonata on the XBoX360 all frickin weekend. ADDICTED to that game! Thanks J... Now I need a fix!
This week is gonna be HELLA busy. I'm sure it is for everyone else as well. Had some thoughts tonight on Dad and his drinking. Not sure if I'm going to share them or not though... I probably will. Gonna go get some rest! Nytol.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
One of the elder members of our group played the Sitar and sang a song giving thanks for all our blessings... that she had written herself. It was off tune. Her voice cracked often. Yet, it was moving and lovely that she wanted to share it with all of us.
Another older gentleman gave a blessing that was heartfelt and pithy.
We had Turkey and Ham. We had stuffing, dressing and sweet potato casserole. There was macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole and broccoli cheese rice. Oh there was so much more. The food was great.
The company was even better. I watched as everyone went from table to table conversing about the holidays, their kids or whatever came to mind. I found myself being called from table to table, group to group, only to hear the same question.
"How much weight HAVE you lost? You're looking SO much better."
First, it shocked me that so many were asking. Then I started thinking about it. Many of these folks have known me since I was a senior in high school. That's 22 YEARS. They've seen me gain weight, get married, gain more weight, have a kid, gain MORE weight, get separated from my husband, gain MORE weight, get back with my husband and... yes.. you guessed it... GAIN MORE WEIGHT. Bleh. OF COURSE they're noticing me loose it.
I have to say, it felt pretty damn good to say, "I've lost 53 lbs since July." I couldn't stop grinning. I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. The most important is the silent support and cheering section I have. I know they're out there rooting for me to loose all the weight I want and it feels great.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT
WTF CRIMINAL MINDS? What do you think you're doing shooting down the BEST female role model on TV? Eh? And... WHY while on a date with a smokin' hot dude? WHYYYYYYYYY???
I apologize for that outburst. Ahem. We now return you to your regularly scheduled madness!!!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Thursday I'll hopefully be making Peanut Butter Balls. HOPEFULLY. Not sure I have the energy for that! lol
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Last night I had to eat a waffle and syrup before bed just so I could take my insulin. I mean.. COME ON! That's not terribly conducive to loosing weight.
We had BBQ hamburgers tonight. One patty, two slices of bread and a slice of 2% cheese is 6 points. I just had to eat a 2nd one so I could take my insulin... I've NEVER had to work this hard to keep my sugars up... its neat and a pain in the ass all at the same time. I'll be interested to see what my weight is tomorrow and I'll be calling the Dr. Monday to see what gives!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Had a huge assed sugar crash today. Blood Sugar was at 52. Ate a brownie. Counted the points. Still have 7 left for the day. Still scared to eat. Meh.
Happy Frickin' Friday.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
We are rapidly approaching the holidays and the 1 year anniversary of his passing and none of us seem to be handling it well. Mom is already having the random crying jags. Grandma seems to be getting more depressed. My Nanny is too. I'm sure its affecting the others as well.
One of my cousins, who was hardest hit by Grandpa's passing, is going through a similar problem this year. His Father In Law is dying of cancer. He's being care for by Hospice Care, unable to eat and just slowly drifting away. His wife is a wreck. He works out of state. They have 3 kids ranging in age from 17 to 6. I pray for them daily.
The thing is... THEY HAVE KIDS. So do I. Just like last year its necessary and important to make the holidays as normal and fun and familycentric (It is TOO a word! I said so!) as possible. Last year we went through the motions and I think we did a good job of keeping the holidays in tact for the kids. Reindeer Feed was made and scattered. Santa was extra generous. We had the huge traditional meal together. There was laughter in spite of what had just happened... even if there were still tears in our eyes and our hearts.
This year just seems harder.
I'm pushing the Holiday train on everyone just like last year and I feel like crap about it. I miss my grandfather, too. Shecky does as well. I'll be damned, though, if I'm going to let a natural part of life make the holidays hollow for my family for the rest of our lives. The kids deserve better. The adults deserve better. Hell, my GRANDFATHER deserves better. (He loved the holidays and everyone being together and all the chaos and laughter that came with the house being full with his family.)
Am I wrong to try to preserve this time of year for me and mine? (And by me and mine I mean EVERYONE from my kid to my cousins kids) Should I just let it go and make it as nice for Shecky as I can and forget about everyone else? Do I continue to try to make sure we're all together and celebrating the best we can because God only knows how many more chances we'll get to do so? What would you do?
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I hate it when the time changes. It throws EVERYTHING off... meh.
Monday, November 5, 2007
First- I CAN WEAR MY BRA! Yeah I know. Random and bizarre but I was SO freakin' excited. When I first started THE PLAN my bra was so tight that it rolled up on me, caused a huge red mark all the way around my body and gave me a large amount of pain. It was decided that since I was living in the woods I should hide the sucker and go without for a while. 50 pounds later... I put it on this morning and IT FIT! LIKE IT SHOULD! It din' even do THAT when I bought the sucker! Whooo Hooo!!! *sorry for the overshare but I am just so thrilled its unreal lol*
Next-- I am a Type II Diabetic that takes several oral meds and a shot of Lantus daily. With all the weight I've lost... I've been crashing like a blind teenager with a drivers license. (Shiver in Fear!!!!) I called my Dr. today and she decreased one of my meds. My insulin and one of my oral meds were decreased a month ago and now another one is being cut in half! ::bounces in chair:: ITS WORKING!!!
Finally, for anyone that loves the Salty-Sweet like I do... Chex Snack Mix in the Turtle Flavor is just.... DIVINE. Its 3 points for 2/3 of a cup and so totally worth it when you have the munchies.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Holy Pete Moses!!!! I'm stoked folks. I am doing a few things differently. I'm not exercising. I'm being more active around the house. It would seem I wasn't eating enough points to counterbalance the activity I was doing in my exercise. That actually makes my head hurt.
Hi. My name is Tessa and I weight 411.9 lbs. ... and I'm excited about that! ::Dances through the Blogaverse::
Saturday, November 3, 2007
I slept till almost 10am. Holy crap. That's unusual. I feel really great today because I actually got some sleep! I got up and Shecky and I made Caramel apples together. That was actually REALLY fun. The kiddo was drooling over them... hehehe... I made him wait till after lunch to have one. Evil Mama that I am.
Now I'm just kinda... chillin. Surfing the web, gonna read a bit, having just a lazy kinda day.
Weight loss wise its going pretty well. I was kinda bad at 2am. I had a donut. I wanted the sugar to help keep me awake. I counted the 5 points as my breakfast. Heh. Whut? It was after midnight and EVERYONE knows your points start over at midnight!!!!
For lunch I had 6 oz turkey sausage in a tomato sauce and onion gravy with 1 cup of rice. I've had a total of 16 points. Tonight for dinner it'll be Meatball Stew (ZOMG do I LOVE that crap! My Mom is the bestest cook EVAH!) with Cous Cous and some sort of veggies. I need to eat some yogurt and fruit today as well. I'm not feeling terribly organized food-wise today. Heh. Its kinda nice really.
Hope you're all having a great Saturday as well!
Friday, November 2, 2007
- Dad very rarely talks about things philosophically or psychologically.
- He's usually drunk when he does.
- He was drunk tonight.
Now, he started the conversation by telling me what a great job I'm doing with my son. That's he's bright and I encourage that trait and am doing all the right things with that aspect. He said that Shecky has a great personality and I'm helping him cultivate that in a terrific manner. He said my child is a mamma's boy and needs to man up...
Whu? He's 7 frickin' years OLD Dude.... WTF?
THEN he informs me that I need to stop using the "Do what I tell you cause I'm the parent that's why" philosophy of parenting.
Ummmm HUH? That's how he raised US! WTF??
Next... I hear him telling me that he made mistakes with my brother and I that I can do better than he did... and it hit me...
He was trying to tell me not to make the same mistakes with MY child that he made with us... and I was floored... and humbled... and shocked.. and more than a little taken aback... Cause.. My Dad... NEVER, EVER admits he is wrong... EVER. He once accused the DICTIONARY of being wrong cause it didn't agree with his spelling of a word... and then, I had a long think about what he was telling me.
I WAS getting into the habit of yelling at Sheck and doing the "ONE! TWO! YOU BETTER DO IT BEFORE I GET TO 3 OR I'LL GROUND YOU TILL YOU ARE 97! 2 AND A HALF!..." I used to take the time to explain why he couldn't do what he wanted or why it was a bad idea to feed the dog hot dogs... from his own mouth... and now... I don't. I've been so involved in my struggle to loose weight and get healthier that I've kind of let the way I wanted to raise my kid fall by the wayside.
Yeah... I help him study. Yeah... we have a night designated to just hang out together. However, the lessons I teach him by how I deal with him are just flat not the ones I wanted to teach him. I never WANTED to be THAT kind of parent... and now... it would seem... I am... or... was. Tonight, I started talking to him again instead of yelling at him. Hopefully, I can retrain the both of us and do a little better by him.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Today is just a stream of consciousness day...
I REALLY wish that damn dog would stop barking.... sigh
Thursday nights are "Mom and Boy Night". We curl up on the bed and watch Survivor and CSI: Original Flavor (STOOPID DOG NEEDS TO SHADDUP). Shecky really looks forward to it and so do I. (My father is now aggravating the dog by knocking on everything... ZOMG MUST HURT HIM) Thursday night seems to be the night he sleeps the best, as well. I dunno if its the extended bedtime making him more tired or that he's just more relaxed and "loose" after 2 hours of TV and snuggle time with teh Mommah! (My mother is doing the "books" and keeps repeating "9 is September" and "10 is October" ... OUT LOUD... Lol... even Shecky knows THAT without repetition Ma!)
Do YOU have time scheduled for your kids? Do they have special night of the week with you where they just get to chill? Do they look forward to it or do you have to seem to force them to do the "Family Thing"? (WTF... Dad lost his shirt... literally... how much talent does THAT take?)