Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Mother Nature Is TRYING to Keel Me!

Holy Cotton Undies Batman! After the busiest 2 weeks EVER... (and I'm STILL not done baking for the soldiers... Candy tomorrow) Aunt Flo has decided to visit. I'm pissy. I'm hurting. I want to be held... but I dun want anyone around me... My head hurts, my feet stink and I dun luv Jebus anymore.

Such is the state of my mood.

However, I DID loose .7 lbs last week with Thanksgiving AND PMS... Take THAT! Heheh

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Holiday Musings... and A Challenge

The Holiday's are HARD. I LOVE them. Don't get me wrong. I love the baking and the cooking and the shopping and the wrapping and the family gatherings. I love the sense of wonder you find in children at this time of year and the warm fuzzies you find in adults.

However, (you KNEW there had to be a however, Right?) for some reasons the Holidays also bring to the surface everyone's... ISSUES. Everything is intensified. Issues with your family, with yourself, with your pocket book and with society in general all seem so much WORSE during the Holidays. People die every... single... DAY. Yet, when it happens during the Holiday Season it seems so much more tragic. The impact of that death seems harder... lasts longer... is remembered more vividly.

I try to keep a positive mindset during the Holidays. I'm thankful for all that I have. I appreciate everything I can do. I also like to stop and reflect on how fortunate I and my family really are. But... (You KNEW there was a but, RIGHT? ) I can't help but think about those that aren't as lucky. Who can't give their kids a happy holiday be it for financial reasons or other things that may not be within their control.

Because my mind works the way it does, my husband and I have a tradition of doing... SOMETHING for someone else during this time of year. Its generally not someone we know. Often, we don't know their names or their full circumstances. Those things don't really matter to us. We just want to make things a little better for someone else because were things different... we could EASILY be in the same boat.

Last year we adopted 2 kids and made sure they had a Christmas. The year before we took two names off a tree at Walmart and bought something for those kids. This year I'm baking my arse off and sending the results to a random person in the army hoping that it eases their heart while away from those they love during the Holidays and hoping it lets them know their sacrifices aren't unappreciated or un-noticed.

My challenge for you is this:

One Random Act of Kindness. It can be for someone you know well or not at all. It doesn't matter. You can donate money, toys, food or time. Help and elderly person put up their decorations... Bake a pie or cake for a neighbor who's having a hard time.... Pay for the coffee of the person standing on the corner selling newspapers on the corner this chilly Sunday.... WHAT EVER. It doesn't have to be a huge gesture. Something small works as well. Make a small difference to someone... and then... encourage someone else to do the same.

I'm involving my mother in my efforts this year. She's helping me plan and bake. Shecky... his entire 2nd grade class is making Christmas Cards for soldiers to be sent with my package. His teacher is having them do it.

This isn't a new idea. The movie "Pay It Forward" put it forth in a massive way. There's a National Day of Kindness. However, (you HAD to know... cough... ) during the holidays seems to be a time it can be of most use to those who may need it the most. Join me, won't you?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


is golden they say... Yeah.... Not so much when you are a blogger. Sorry for being so quiet lately. We've been going crazy trying to get ready for Thanksgiving.

I have a couple of updates on my weight loss/health issues. I gained .3 lbs this week. POINT THREE. Damn it. It couldn't have just stayed the SAME yanno? lol

I was much more immobile last week. Spent a lot of time at the dinning room table baking. Bleh.

I DID manage a milestone today though. I BEAT THE WALMART MONSTER. We went into town today and I managed to do the shopping, for an hour, walking. NO SCOOTER! WOOT! I'm tired and sore but it was so worth it!

Sunday, November 18, 2007


Crap! I went to Houston for the weekend to see my husband and my dog and didn't post for 2 days! So much for NaBloPoMo!

I had a great weekend. Played Eternal Sonata on the XBoX360 all frickin weekend. ADDICTED to that game! Thanks J... Now I need a fix!

This week is gonna be HELLA busy. I'm sure it is for everyone else as well. Had some thoughts tonight on Dad and his drinking. Not sure if I'm going to share them or not though... I probably will. Gonna go get some rest! Nytol.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Community Chest

I LOVE the community we live in. Tonight we had a community dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving. It. Was. AWESOME.

One of the elder members of our group played the Sitar and sang a song giving thanks for all our blessings... that she had written herself. It was off tune. Her voice cracked often. Yet, it was moving and lovely that she wanted to share it with all of us.

Another older gentleman gave a blessing that was heartfelt and pithy.

We had Turkey and Ham. We had stuffing, dressing and sweet potato casserole. There was macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole and broccoli cheese rice. Oh there was so much more. The food was great.

The company was even better. I watched as everyone went from table to table conversing about the holidays, their kids or whatever came to mind. I found myself being called from table to table, group to group, only to hear the same question.

"How much weight HAVE you lost? You're looking SO much better."

First, it shocked me that so many were asking. Then I started thinking about it. Many of these folks have known me since I was a senior in high school. That's 22 YEARS. They've seen me gain weight, get married, gain more weight, have a kid, gain MORE weight, get separated from my husband, gain MORE weight, get back with my husband and... yes.. you guessed it... GAIN MORE WEIGHT. Bleh. OF COURSE they're noticing me loose it.

I have to say, it felt pretty damn good to say, "I've lost 53 lbs since July." I couldn't stop grinning. I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. The most important is the silent support and cheering section I have. I know they're out there rooting for me to loose all the weight I want and it feels great.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


I LOVE Criminal Minds. My favorite character is Penelope Garcia. She's a spunky, chunky, full of mischief girl geek and I heart her! Were I playing for that team... she'd be mah girl!


WTF CRIMINAL MINDS? What do you think you're doing shooting down the BEST female role model on TV? Eh? And... WHY while on a date with a smokin' hot dude? WHYYYYYYYYY???

::composes self::

I apologize for that outburst. Ahem. We now return you to your regularly scheduled madness!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Chop Chop Zzzzzz Zzzzz

I spent the majority of my day today chopping up candied pineapple and cherries and pecans. I freakin' LOVE getting ready for the holidays!!!!!! (No, REALLY! I DO!) Hopefully tomorrow we will make a batch of our special Christmas Cake. I'll be shipping off one of the cakes to friends in Kansas City, MO. Not sure what we're doing with the others. It should be a fun day though.

Thursday I'll hopefully be making Peanut Butter Balls. HOPEFULLY. Not sure I have the energy for that! lol


Monday, November 12, 2007

What Fresh Hell....

is this??? After a weekend with a sick 7 year old and today with a feeling much better 7 year old desperately trying to burn off some energy even though I want him to be still cause being off from school sick isn't SUPPOSED to be fun is more than I can handle. I'm done for the day. Nytol...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Project Hope: A Way To Make A Difference

I had this great plan for Project Hope. I was going to post once a week about someone or something that inspired me to make a difference in our world... even if it was in a small way. I fail. I've been so involved in trying to work The Plan I have for weight loss and health that I haven't done it.

However, Liv over at Madness, Madness I Say has an INCREDIBLE idea/campaign going to bring our boys overseas some Holiday Cheer. Please to check it out and get involved. No matter your views on the war and whether or not we should be there those boys deserve a great holiday season.

Tomorrow: An update on the weight loss drama that is my life.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Eating to Survive...

I have something really... odd... going on. My blood sugars are LOW. Yesterday I crashed twice. Today I crashed again. Its been like this for a week... and its getting ... old.

Last night I had to eat a waffle and syrup before bed just so I could take my insulin. I mean.. COME ON! That's not terribly conducive to loosing weight.

We had BBQ hamburgers tonight. One patty, two slices of bread and a slice of 2% cheese is 6 points. I just had to eat a 2nd one so I could take my insulin... I've NEVER had to work this hard to keep my sugars up... its neat and a pain in the ass all at the same time. I'll be interested to see what my weight is tomorrow and I'll be calling the Dr. Monday to see what gives!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Short and Sweet

I've been sick all day. Fighting Nausea. Feeling like HELL. Doing a bit better now but you'll get nothing of substance from me today! No, I'm NOT pregnant. Don't even think it! I've been attacked by some sort of stomach bug.

Had a huge assed sugar crash today. Blood Sugar was at 52. Ate a brownie. Counted the points. Still have 7 left for the day. Still scared to eat. Meh.

Happy Frickin' Friday.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Bonfires and Kindergarten Court

This week is Homecoming at Shecky's school. Tonight they had the coronation of the PreK-8th grade Duchesses and a bonfire. It was ADORABLE! The little girls in their fancy dresses. The lovely corsages and Homecoming mums. The escorts whether it was the proud papa or an adorable kid from their class. The 2 inch high heels... WHU???

Mom and I were looking at the girls. Many of the younger ones, we're talking 1st and 2nd graders, had high heels on. I mean... HIGH. Mom and I were talking about it and we realized... that was all their MOTHER'S doing. I don't quite get that. I mean... yes. Its an honor for their darling lil girl to be chosen as the Duchess. Dressing her up in the finest gown they can find is great! However, LET THEM BE LIL GIRLS. Holy Hell!

Kids grow up so much faster these days. It doesn't help when their parents are encouraging it. Is it just me? Am I wrong and looking at it in a skewed way or are these parents actually encouraging their 6 and 7 year old daughters to grow up too quickly? Meh... mebbe I'm just bitter because I wasn't allowed to have high heels until I was 13... heh.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Holiday Train Rooooooooollin' In

My Grandfather passed away December 18, 2006. We put him to rest on December 21, 2006.

We are rapidly approaching the holidays and the 1 year anniversary of his passing and none of us seem to be handling it well. Mom is already having the random crying jags. Grandma seems to be getting more depressed. My Nanny is too. I'm sure its affecting the others as well.

One of my cousins, who was hardest hit by Grandpa's passing, is going through a similar problem this year. His Father In Law is dying of cancer. He's being care for by Hospice Care, unable to eat and just slowly drifting away. His wife is a wreck. He works out of state. They have 3 kids ranging in age from 17 to 6. I pray for them daily.

The thing is... THEY HAVE KIDS. So do I. Just like last year its necessary and important to make the holidays as normal and fun and familycentric (It is TOO a word! I said so!) as possible. Last year we went through the motions and I think we did a good job of keeping the holidays in tact for the kids. Reindeer Feed was made and scattered. Santa was extra generous. We had the huge traditional meal together. There was laughter in spite of what had just happened... even if there were still tears in our eyes and our hearts.

This year just seems harder.

I'm pushing the Holiday train on everyone just like last year and I feel like crap about it. I miss my grandfather, too. Shecky does as well. I'll be damned, though, if I'm going to let a natural part of life make the holidays hollow for my family for the rest of our lives. The kids deserve better. The adults deserve better. Hell, my GRANDFATHER deserves better. (He loved the holidays and everyone being together and all the chaos and laughter that came with the house being full with his family.)

Am I wrong to try to preserve this time of year for me and mine? (And by me and mine I mean EVERYONE from my kid to my cousins kids) Should I just let it go and make it as nice for Shecky as I can and forget about everyone else? Do I continue to try to make sure we're all together and celebrating the best we can because God only knows how many more chances we'll get to do so? What would you do?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Time Change Is Kicking My....

Ass... yeah... I said it! Today has seemed like the longest fricking day EVAH! All day long I've been thinking, "Its only 10am?" "Its only noon?" and now its like... "WTF!!! Its 10pm!!!! Aw, Hells Naw!"

I hate it when the time changes. It throws EVERYTHING off... meh.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Bra-Va! Bra-Va!!!

WHOOO HOOO. Two non-scale victories and one food discovery for y'all today.

First- I CAN WEAR MY BRA! Yeah I know. Random and bizarre but I was SO freakin' excited. When I first started THE PLAN my bra was so tight that it rolled up on me, caused a huge red mark all the way around my body and gave me a large amount of pain. It was decided that since I was living in the woods I should hide the sucker and go without for a while. 50 pounds later... I put it on this morning and IT FIT! LIKE IT SHOULD! It din' even do THAT when I bought the sucker! Whooo Hooo!!! *sorry for the overshare but I am just so thrilled its unreal lol*

Next-- I am a Type II Diabetic that takes several oral meds and a shot of Lantus daily. With all the weight I've lost... I've been crashing like a blind teenager with a drivers license. (Shiver in Fear!!!!) I called my Dr. today and she decreased one of my meds. My insulin and one of my oral meds were decreased a month ago and now another one is being cut in half! ::bounces in chair:: ITS WORKING!!!

Finally, for anyone that loves the Salty-Sweet like I do... Chex Snack Mix in the Turtle Flavor is just.... DIVINE. Its 3 points for 2/3 of a cup and so totally worth it when you have the munchies.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

And We Were Dancin'.. Dancin' In The Streets!

WOOT! Weigh In Day is today. I'm down another 3.9 lbs. I've lost a total of 52.1 lbs so far. I BROKE THE 50 lb. mark!!!!! Another 12 lbs and I'll be below 4oo and well on my way to driving a car again. (I was driving my Taurus at 380ish).

Holy Pete Moses!!!! I'm stoked folks. I am doing a few things differently. I'm not exercising. I'm being more active around the house. It would seem I wasn't eating enough points to counterbalance the activity I was doing in my exercise. That actually makes my head hurt.

Hi. My name is Tessa and I weight 411.9 lbs. ... and I'm excited about that! ::Dances through the Blogaverse::

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Mmmmmm Fall

Today has been a really nice day thus far. I was up till 3am.. ish. Which sucked. Husband was driving to Fort Worth for his monthly USAF Reserve duty. The traffic, due to the start of hunting season which... yanno... I TOTALLY DON'T GET!, was HORRENDOUS. It was bumper to bumper going out of town. Husband decided to go home and sleep for a couple of hours and head out around 9pm. Great idea except since he was driving so late I din sleep. I never do when someone I care about is traveling. I called him every thirty minutes to an hour to make sure he was still awake and not yanno... laying on the road somewhere after smashing into an 18 wheeler ... cough... (And I wonder where Shecky's imagination comes from heh).

I slept till almost 10am. Holy crap. That's unusual. I feel really great today because I actually got some sleep! I got up and Shecky and I made Caramel apples together. That was actually REALLY fun. The kiddo was drooling over them... hehehe... I made him wait till after lunch to have one. Evil Mama that I am.

Now I'm just kinda... chillin. Surfing the web, gonna read a bit, having just a lazy kinda day.

Weight loss wise its going pretty well. I was kinda bad at 2am. I had a donut. I wanted the sugar to help keep me awake. I counted the 5 points as my breakfast. Heh. Whut? It was after midnight and EVERYONE knows your points start over at midnight!!!!

For lunch I had 6 oz turkey sausage in a tomato sauce and onion gravy with 1 cup of rice. I've had a total of 16 points. Tonight for dinner it'll be Meatball Stew (ZOMG do I LOVE that crap! My Mom is the bestest cook EVAH!) with Cous Cous and some sort of veggies. I need to eat some yogurt and fruit today as well. I'm not feeling terribly organized food-wise today. Heh. Its kinda nice really.

Hope you're all having a great Saturday as well!

Friday, November 2, 2007

I'm NOT Quite Sure How To Take This....

I had an interesting conversation with my father this evening. Let me preface this with a little pertinent information.
  • Dad very rarely talks about things philosophically or psychologically.
  • He's usually drunk when he does.
  • He was drunk tonight.

Now, he started the conversation by telling me what a great job I'm doing with my son. That's he's bright and I encourage that trait and am doing all the right things with that aspect. He said that Shecky has a great personality and I'm helping him cultivate that in a terrific manner. He said my child is a mamma's boy and needs to man up...

Whu? He's 7 frickin' years OLD Dude.... WTF?

THEN he informs me that I need to stop using the "Do what I tell you cause I'm the parent that's why" philosophy of parenting.

Ummmm HUH? That's how he raised US! WTF??

Next... I hear him telling me that he made mistakes with my brother and I that I can do better than he did... and it hit me...

He was trying to tell me not to make the same mistakes with MY child that he made with us... and I was floored... and humbled... and shocked.. and more than a little taken aback... Cause.. My Dad... NEVER, EVER admits he is wrong... EVER. He once accused the DICTIONARY of being wrong cause it didn't agree with his spelling of a word... and then, I had a long think about what he was telling me.

I WAS getting into the habit of yelling at Sheck and doing the "ONE! TWO! YOU BETTER DO IT BEFORE I GET TO 3 OR I'LL GROUND YOU TILL YOU ARE 97! 2 AND A HALF!..." I used to take the time to explain why he couldn't do what he wanted or why it was a bad idea to feed the dog hot dogs... from his own mouth... and now... I don't. I've been so involved in my struggle to loose weight and get healthier that I've kind of let the way I wanted to raise my kid fall by the wayside.

Yeah... I help him study. Yeah... we have a night designated to just hang out together. However, the lessons I teach him by how I deal with him are just flat not the ones I wanted to teach him. I never WANTED to be THAT kind of parent... and now... it would seem... I am... or... was. Tonight, I started talking to him again instead of yelling at him. Hopefully, I can retrain the both of us and do a little better by him.

Thanks Dad.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

NaBloPoMo and Other Stuffs

National Blog Posting Month... or whatever. I din sign up on the sign up page but I'm going to attempt to post daily anyway. :)

Today is just a stream of consciousness day...

I REALLY wish that damn dog would stop barking.... sigh

Thursday nights are "Mom and Boy Night". We curl up on the bed and watch Survivor and CSI: Original Flavor (STOOPID DOG NEEDS TO SHADDUP). Shecky really looks forward to it and so do I. (My father is now aggravating the dog by knocking on everything... ZOMG MUST HURT HIM) Thursday night seems to be the night he sleeps the best, as well. I dunno if its the extended bedtime making him more tired or that he's just more relaxed and "loose" after 2 hours of TV and snuggle time with teh Mommah! (My mother is doing the "books" and keeps repeating "9 is September" and "10 is October" ... OUT LOUD... Lol... even Shecky knows THAT without repetition Ma!)

Do YOU have time scheduled for your kids? Do they have special night of the week with you where they just get to chill? Do they look forward to it or do you have to seem to force them to do the "Family Thing"? (WTF... Dad lost his shirt... literally... how much talent does THAT take?)