Friday, November 2, 2007

I'm NOT Quite Sure How To Take This....

I had an interesting conversation with my father this evening. Let me preface this with a little pertinent information.
  • Dad very rarely talks about things philosophically or psychologically.
  • He's usually drunk when he does.
  • He was drunk tonight.

Now, he started the conversation by telling me what a great job I'm doing with my son. That's he's bright and I encourage that trait and am doing all the right things with that aspect. He said that Shecky has a great personality and I'm helping him cultivate that in a terrific manner. He said my child is a mamma's boy and needs to man up...

Whu? He's 7 frickin' years OLD Dude.... WTF?

THEN he informs me that I need to stop using the "Do what I tell you cause I'm the parent that's why" philosophy of parenting.

Ummmm HUH? That's how he raised US! WTF??

Next... I hear him telling me that he made mistakes with my brother and I that I can do better than he did... and it hit me...

He was trying to tell me not to make the same mistakes with MY child that he made with us... and I was floored... and humbled... and shocked.. and more than a little taken aback... Cause.. My Dad... NEVER, EVER admits he is wrong... EVER. He once accused the DICTIONARY of being wrong cause it didn't agree with his spelling of a word... and then, I had a long think about what he was telling me.

I WAS getting into the habit of yelling at Sheck and doing the "ONE! TWO! YOU BETTER DO IT BEFORE I GET TO 3 OR I'LL GROUND YOU TILL YOU ARE 97! 2 AND A HALF!..." I used to take the time to explain why he couldn't do what he wanted or why it was a bad idea to feed the dog hot dogs... from his own mouth... and now... I don't. I've been so involved in my struggle to loose weight and get healthier that I've kind of let the way I wanted to raise my kid fall by the wayside.

Yeah... I help him study. Yeah... we have a night designated to just hang out together. However, the lessons I teach him by how I deal with him are just flat not the ones I wanted to teach him. I never WANTED to be THAT kind of parent... and now... it would seem... I am... or... was. Tonight, I started talking to him again instead of yelling at him. Hopefully, I can retrain the both of us and do a little better by him.

Thanks Dad.

1 comment:

zdoodlebub said...

I feel you, hon. You are doing a great job. Do not feel guilty for focusing on yourself. There are days, weeks, months that we ALL could do better. Forgive yourself. Tomorrow is another day.