Friday, August 1, 2008

Straight Talk About My Numbers

Many people say your weight is just a number, as is your age. Yeah, I don't buy that in either case.

My age indicates my life experience. It indicates how much I've lived and how much I've potentially done. It's not a bad thing. It's not something to be dreaded. It just... is.

My weight, on the other hand, is a cruel, cruel mistress that I dread seeing and dealing with. It indicates how much I've failed. It shows how far off the mark I've been. It cries when it sees me coming, I SWEAR to you it does!

I have managed to gain 20 lbs in the last 2 months. First, it was the pain keeping me from moving much at all. The depression and fear that bring on the nervous munchies took over as the surgery date grew closer. After the surgery I felt WONDERFUL and I celebrated by eating whatever was handy.

Yeah, I've not done such a great job lately with that number. It's something I'm SUPPOSED to control... yet... more often than not, it controls me.

So... it's time again. I need to get off my ass and rededicate myself to my weight loss efforts. I have 2 weeks left here in Houston. Then I go back to the lake. I'm going to be more careful with what I eat and how active I am here for these next too weeks. I'll consider it a victory if I don't gain any more than I already have. Then... Katy Bar The Friggin Door.... It's ON my friends.


lizard. dot lizard. said...

i too need to find the resolve to stop saying, ok well just this and then i'll be good. i've gained, oh, 40lbs since last summer. and i wasn't thin then.

actually i thought i was fat then. now i would love to be that again. i hate it soooo much when that happens, and with my yo-yo weight, that's been many, many times.

maybe we should make a collaborative diet/exercise/weight/health blog (maybe even others might want to join too?) and be supportive to each other and stuff. hmm. i could set that up, if, you know, it sounded like a good idea.

perpstu said...

I fight the same sucks! So girlio, we will be our own plurk support network! Bring on the weight loss, you can do it!

greytfriend said...

I am sure that now that you are not in pain for the first time in 8 years you will be able to get back on track. I know how hard it is to be good when just sitting still hurts. Good luck!

zdoodlebub said...

So you've decided to go back to your parents, huh? Best to you!

Kristine Shreve said...

Weight is such a hard issue, particularly for women. I've struggled with mine for years and finally feel like I have a handle on it. Here's hoping I'm right about that.

By the way, I like the idea of a collaborative weight loss blog. I write one of my own, but doing a collaborative one sounds like fun.

Also, on a side note, I guess Plurk does work. That's how I found this blog. I'm KristineS on Plurk.