As The Diet Turns....

Well... Another day another dieting mishap. As you know last week we experimented with the Points plan for Weight Watchers. I gained, yes... GAINED 1.8 lbs. So did Mom. I would say the experiment was a failure. We went back on the Core program today. I know points works for a LOT of people but it just doesn't for me. I was eating more and eating more JUNK. Empty points. The Core program MAKES me eat in a more healthy way. No processed foods. No Junk. I eat more fruit and veggies on Core.

I was really disheartened this morning after weigh in. I was angry, frustrated and just plain WTF PISSED! I know 1.8 sounds like nothing but here I am, busting my butt to make this work and I posted a GAIN for last week. Oh HELL to the NAW! Not happening again if I can help it! I've subsequently pulled my head out of my ass, gotten past the anger, frustration and OH NO YOU DI'N pissyness and am working toward a loss for this week.

I miss my son, I miss my dog, I miss my life... in the end though all these misses will equal a huge win for all of us.

BlogHer, SchmogHer

SOME of us, the unworthy and broke, in the blogging community are still out here. Its errily quiet in the blogverse the past couple of days. I thought, "Hey! Why not make some NOISE!?!?!?!?!?"

So... here I am... bein... well... Noisy! lol I'm going to be a little Nosey too! I want to know something about you people lurking in the shadows. Reading our words and seeing our vulnerabilites is POWER my friends. Give a lil power back? Where ya from? What ya do? Why do you or don't you blog? If you DO blog, what do you blog about? What's the site address? Use me! Abuse me! Advertise on mah comments section. LET US MAKE SOME FRICKING BLOGGARIFFIC NOISE!!!!!!!

WARNING: Harry Potter The Deathly Hallows Spoilers

I just finished Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling. I enjoyed most of it, a lot. A few things bothered me though. Below are some random thoughts about what happened in the book. If you don't want to know about plot points and character developments read no further. I'll catch ya on the flip side!

What I liked:

I'll start with my favorite part of the book. I LOVED the big fight at the end of the book. Everyone pulling together, even the frickin' HOUSE ELVES, to take down Moldy Voldy. That! Was! AWESOME! The pace, the verbiage, the description of the tension and the action were all great. The coming together and melding of Dumbledore's Army and The Order of the Phoenix was, I think, extremely well written. It kept me glued to the book.

The next portion of the book that I loved was a bit of character development. I LOVED Neville and his sudden development of... well... balls. We got hints of the person he would become in earlier books. The best example is when he stood up to Harry and friends when they were sneaking out of Hogwarts. I BELIEVE it was in book 2. He manned up in book 7 and it was great! It got a huge smile out of me! (His Granny rocks in this finally installment as well.)

I really enjoyed was the redemption of Snape. I loved how, by giving Harry his memories, he was able to tell us HIS story and show us that while he often did the wrong thing he DID have a heart and DID know how to love. His love for Lilly was twisted and in the end it twisted HIM around and around. It made for an interesting reveal that Mr. Bad Ass Death Eater was really just an emotionally stunted man who pined for his lost love and spent most of his life trying to protect the only part of her that was left... Harry.

I liked a lot more but I'm too tired to go much further.

Next are the things I WASN'T terribly fond of.

First, while I understand WHY Dobby had to die, I don't like it. Yes, Harry drew strength from his friend dying for him. However, it could have been served just as well by many of the other deaths occurring throughout the book. (ESPECIALLY Tonks or Lupin. Having just had a child their dying could have had a LOT of reverberations for him as it mirrored his own parents deaths and given him even MORE resolve than The Lil' House Elf That Could.)

The pace of the first third of the book bothered me as well. Maybe even the first half. It seemed a little slow and plodding for me. I'll have to give it another read in a couple of days. It may have been I was just anticipating the big plot points and character reveals so much that the exposition in the first half made me got bat shit.

Finally, I HATED RON WALKING OUT ON HARRY AND HERMY! That annoyed the hell out of me. It was well done. It WAS in character but I reserve the right to object to it based on the fact that I ADORE Ron and his goofy dorky self and hated to see him do that. I actually CHEERED out loud when it showed back up.

Now, the Epilogue. I know a LOT of people aren't going to like it. They'll say it was pandering to the fans. They'll say it was a let down or a disappointment. I disagree. I LOVED it. Truly. It tied up the story of all my favorite characters nicely. (Who raised Teddy? Anyone else think it was Harry and Ginny?) It ALSO left her an out to continue the story of Hogwarts with the offspring of Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermy... Niiiiice. Smart. I hope she does it!

Weekly Weight Woss Wupdate...

Yeah I know... Lame Title. Heh. But I'm in a GOOD mood. I lost 8.1 lbs this past week for a total of 24.8 lbs in 3 weeks. WOOOOOOOT!!!! Even with a visit from my unloved and unwanted Aunt Flo! ::Does Happy Dance::

We're changing things up this week a bit and its making me... apprehensive. We are moving from the Core plan, which I ADORE, to points. We did core for 3 weeks and now we're going to do Points. It is day 1 and my tolerance is already being tested.

We got up a bit late today so we didn't hit the lake for our exercise until 9:30. We exercised for an hour and a half. Got out, drip dried, I took a nice long bath/soak in the big tub with jets and then at a fricking 11 point lunch at 1pm. It was the first thing I'd eaten all day and I was frickin' STARVING!!! I had a sandwich of Cucumbers, tomato's and Light Garden Veggie Philly Cream cheese, a Smart Ones Salisbury Steak frozen dinner, 1 cup skim milk and 1 cup cantaloupe. I was OVERFULL. THAT, in a nutshell, is why I don't like the points plan. I'm actually supposed to eat, according to the plan, 44 points a day. That's crazy! That's WAY too much food. We decided I'm going to do 34 points a day which is STILL a lot more food than I've been eating on Core. On Core, I eat till I start feeling a little full, then I stop. On Points, I have to eat all the points even if I'm not Effin hungry! Meh. I'll try it for 3 weeks and see how it goes but as of now... I'm not likin' it. We'll see what the weight loss shows next week.

On a totally different subject, did you know that getting a copy of your child's birth certificate from the county because you are an idiot and can't find it to register him for school will run you around $30.00??? That's nuts.... sigh

Psychology 101... on WW Core Plan

Update: This week's weigh in I lost 1.5lbs but I'm gaining MUSCLE. My clothes are starting to fit differently!!!! WOOT!

I'm doing the WW Core plan. I was TERRIFIED to start this diet. You can eat as much as you want on it as long as you stick to the items on the Core list and eat until you're satisfied. Now... I weigh 448 lbs.... If I knew when my hunger was SATISFIED... do you REALLY think I'd weigh that much. I was very, VERY skeptical of this program.

However, it has actually been working quite well for me. I don't feel deprived of anything though. I have to admit, I am missing Bread and Biscuits. I haven't felt hungry unless, of course, I'm a dork and don't eat regularly which has been known to happen.

The Core Program HAS made me much more aware of my battle with Head Hunger vs. Physical Hunger. I've noticed that if I allow myself to get too hungry my MIND doesn't realize when my BODY has had enough food.

Let me give you and example. Typically I get up at 7 or 7:30 am. Sometime around 8 or 9am we hit the lake for an hour or more of exercise. I tread water, I do jumping jacks, I do arm exercises, I do squats and I walk, all in the water. We arrive back at the house between 9 and 10am and drip dry on the back porch for 30 minutes to an hour. I take my medication around 11am and eat my first meal around 11:30am... ish. Mom serves the portions for me and I eat what she serves. She asks if I'm "satisfied" and often, more often than not really, I don't know how to answer the question. PHYSICALLY, yes... I'm satisfied. Mentally I'm still hungry. Mentally I'm like, MORE FOOD!!!! MUST HAVE MORE FOOD!!!! WTF? I mean... REALLY! If I actually THINK about the questions and gauge how I feel after I've eaten I know I've had plenty.

Unfortunately, my USUAL modus operandi is to just move on to my next task after eating until I'm miserably full and without reflecting on whether or not my hunger has truly been sated. My life is so full of...things. Work, TV shows, Movies, computer games, fighting with my son about cleaning his room or going to bed, "hanging out", busy, Busy, BUSY. I never take the time to listen to myself or take care of myself. Everyone and everything is more important. Here at the lake, thanks to my very supportive and wonderful parents, I have nothing BUT time. I'm being given an opportunity to take care of myself and make me and my needs my number one priority. It is allowing me to actually ACT on some of the issues that I recognize are a part of my psyche.

Facing your demons head on... its not for the faint of heart. Just like beginning The Core Program, its frightening me and making me uncomfortable. The last week of exercising and dieting and self-reflection has made me realize how important it is to do it. This could be what saves my life. I can't thank them enough.

Everything Old is New Again...

This has been a wonderfully weird arsed week. I got an email from MySpace... and yes... I have a MySpace Page... bite me... that someone named "Prom Date" had sent me a message. Now, seeing the full first name of Prom Date I thought to myself, "Who the Hell is THIS?" (I get a lot of spam messages and friend requests from the Almighty MySpace) I read the message and it was from Prom Date!!!! Now, my Senior Prom was a long, LONG time ago *cough21yearsagocough* but my date was my very best friend and someone I loved with all my heart. I was completely stoked to have heard from him! We are now communicating through MySpace pretty much daily and I've now "met" his wife online and am looking forward to getting to know the woman that impressed him enough to take the plunge!

On the same theme, with a twist, I'm going to be living with my parents for the next year or so. R and J and I and my folks have all been talking and NONE of us really want me to have the gastric bypass. It scares us all witless as I don't heal minor injuries well much less something that invasive. Sheky and I are going to live here. I'm going to continue past the two months I have on medical leave from work and try to loose the weight by exercising in the water and dieting. With Mom as my nutritionist (She's lost well over 100 lbs herself) and Dad as my D.I. HOW can I loose? errr... Not Loose??? Oh, you know what I mean! R and J will visit as much as they can on weekends so I don't feel cut off from human kind living out here in the sticks (heh) and Sheky gets his wish to live at the lake. Should be interesting, no?

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I cheated and weighed Thursday and I was a bit annoyed. I had gained 3 lbs. However my clothes are DEFINITELY fitting differently. I think the weight gain is probably a combination of building muscle (My back and legs are supporting me MUCH better now thank God) and the water retention from the impending Aunt Flo visitation. Goody, eh?

Water Works

I have to admit. I thought exercising in the water, unless it was organized Water Aerobics, wouldn't be effective. Man, was I ever wrong.

I feel it in my legs and arms the most. Its easier to get up offa the couch. I can peel and cut up a watermelon or 2 cantaloupes without my arms aching now. I really am amazed at the difference its made in such short time.

WOW!!!!

Today was weigh in day! In the last week I have staved of a cold, twisted my knee and ankle and LOST 15.2 POUNDS!!!!!!!! My current weight is now 448.0 down from 464.2!!!!!

::Does happy dance:: Y'all have a great day. I'm hittin' the lake!!!!

The Amazing KLUTZO!!!!!

I... am a YOOGE... KLUTZ! Today, during my morning "Swim", Mom of NotAMeanGirl was cautioning me NOT TO STEP IN A HOLE IN THE SAND. That would be REALLY bad as it would cause me to fall and potentially break part of my body that I've grown quite fond of over the years. My reply to her? "I'm FINE!!!"

I then proceeded to find the dreaded low spot in the sand with my Amazing Hole Finding Foot and fell face first into the water. I twisted my ankle and wrenched my knee trying to keep from falling. (I SAID I was a Klutz!)

However, said accident did NOT stop me from partaking of a 75 minute long session in the water this afternoon. It hurt like HELL every time I flexed my foot but I felt GOOD because I hadn't let it stop me.

Tomorrow is our "official" weigh in! Anyone wanna make a bet on how much I've lost my first week?

Back.. and Badder Than EVAH!

Hi everyone. I know I've been a bad Bloggy Momma. I haven't posted in a while. There was, however, a REASON for my absence.

I am at the lake. It is now Day 5 of my exercise and diet program and its going well. I purposely haven't posted about it because I figured if you wanted to listen to someone bitch and whine about how sore they are and how hungry they are you'll talk to your kids... or spouses... or whatever. I HAVE been sore! Holy Hell have I been sore. Today its better though. We've been swimming twice a day for a cumulative time of about 2 to 2.5 hours a day. We're not ACTUALLY swimming. Doing standing squats in the water and kicking our legs constantly as well as flailing our arms about in the water is more like it. You wouldn't THINK that would be very effective, would you? Well, LEMME TELL YOU SUMTHIN' BUB! Yer WRONG. My whole body is feeling the effects of if it. I'm actually walking a little better despite the achiness and the fact that my legs get so frickin' TIRED when I'm on land its unreal. Though, I guess carrying around almost 1/4 of a ton will do that to ya!

The diet portion of things is going well also. We've been following the WW Core program. I haven't been hungry due to a lack of food at all. Its all whole foods and healthier foods and I'm feeling better without all that fast food and junk food in my system. I'm tired as hell though.

Yesterday, after 3 days of exercise I weighed. I couldn't help it. My legs SEEM weaker. SEEM to get tired faster and it was bothering me. I needed a sign that this stuff was actually WORKING and wasn't all in vain. In 3 days I went from 463.8 to 455 lbs. I lost 8.8 lbs in 3 frickin' days. I'd say... that's a sign that it's working... and then some.

I'm excited. I'm elated. I'm sore. I'm tired. I'm scared.... but... I'm ok. :)