So, after I put a lid on the rage I was feeling yesterday, (and yes it WAS rage. I cried all frippin' morning and that means I was out of control and in a rage. ) Dad said something to me that I thought was kinda odd but once I reflected on it I think he may have hit upon something.
I'm not having enough fun.
I'm spending my days exercising, worrying over diet, taking care of Shecky and his needs, trying to appease my parents, and stressing over all of it. Sure I play a few games on the laptop. Sure I read and watch some TV. None of that however is stuff that charges me up. It's all just kind of place holders to give me a little downtime during the day/evening. Not a single thing on that list up there is something that turns my wheels.
I. Aer. An. ID10T. I'm not having any fricking FUN. I'm not getting any positive, re-charging activity.
So... Saturday J. is coming to visit. We're going to a Karaoke bar and I'm going to sing... In Front Of Other People. HOLYSHIT! I'm already having panic attacks about it, however, I'm excited as hell at the same time. WOOTHOLYSHIT!