Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tears of Frustration...

Yeah... That's where I am with my dieting and exercise. I'm eating my 34 points, which I STILL think is too many. I'm exercising my ASS off in the pool. I'm jogging, doing jumping jacks, squats, "The Cowboy", "The Rocking Horse", kicking, dancing all to some hard driving music for an hour a day.


That's 3 weeks in a row with no forward movement. Heck, I was at 393 January 27th and I'm back up to 398. WTF???

I'm angry and frustrated and annoyed.

My kid misses his father. A lot. I miss having my own space and not having to answer to my parents. I miss my fricking LIFE.

I'm starting to feel like its just not worth it. It's starting to feel like all the sacrifice and work just isn't paying off. I hate this shit.

I'm in a really, REALLY horrible mood. I've been in a funk for a couple of weeks as you can tell from my posts and the spotty number of them that exist. Now? NOW I'm pissed off.

I know I need to turn it around mentally but I'm having a really difficult time doing it. I can't tell if I'm depressed or just frustrated or if, God Help Me, it's a combination of both kicking my ass. All I know is it needs to GO AWAY!

I'm feeling really cut off from people, yet, I don't really want anyone around me because I'm on a hair trigger with my temper....

And now I'm whining. Imma shaddup for now. I hope you all have a great day.


Angel said...

For different reasons I feel pretty similar to how you feel right now. There are different circumstances but I feel lost, depressed, grumpy and have a short fuse too.

I totally understand. I know that when I get to a place like this, I can look up and see a light, somewhere, no matter how dim. It's there. Just don't give into your feelings... don't give up on yourself.

Kelly said...

Ahhhh honey, I just want to come hug you. And I just want to smack Mr. Plateau right in the ass for you. Just know...you will break through! You will! You will! You will! And if you can, cut yourself some slack. You know you're working hard. Have confidence that all of it will pay off. ((hugs))