Whoo Hoo and Ummm... Ugh.

Today is starting out as a mixed bag. The good news is that my blood sugars were 139 this morning. Its a LITTLE high but its massively better than it has been in AGES. Even if I'm not seeing the weight loss I'd like WW is having a positive effect on my health! Whoo Hoo!!!

Food today, is a challenge. Last night I was having a LOT of pain so I didn't fix my food for the day today. I thought I'd just do it this morning. Well... THAT didn't happen. I was having some issues this morning and ran out of time. Here is my food for the day:

Breakfast:

Whataburger's Breakfast On A Bun: 15 pts

Lunch:

Whataburger Garden Salad w/ Cheese and Low fat Ranch Dressing: 11 pts

(We interrupt this post to bring you a mini rant: LOW FAT RANCH DRESSING with 22g of fat?? WTF???? I almost had a stroke when I read that. I actually asked for FAT FREE but the brain trust working the window... well... like they said in Lethal Weapon "They F**k you at the drive through!" Meh)

Snack when I get home:

1 Apple (1 pt)

Dinner:

I have no clue. I need something that will suck up the better part of 17 points. This is my thought:

2 Potato, Chive and Cheese encrusted Talipia Fillet: 14 pts
1 Cup Asparagus
1 Cup Corn : 2 pts
1 Philly Swirl Pop: 1 pt

That would be all my points for today. Lets see how it works out now. Heh.

PROJECT HOPE LAUNCH

Hey everyone! Today I launch my Project Hope. I put forth a challenge to everyone to find a way to make the world better. Some small thing you can do to improve the world for ourselves and our kids.

I know I was supposed to announce this yesterday but some things happened and I was unable to post. My Project Hope is going to consist of the following:

Every 6 months I am going to find books we've read. Clothes we no longer wear. Toys that are no longer played with and donate them to a local battered wives/children safe house.

Also:

Every Weds here on Mean Girls Need Not Apply I am going to post about something I found that makes me hopeful or something that is trying to make the world a better place. Organizations, other projects, acts of heroism, whatever I can find to help place the emphasis on Hope and on Looking Forward to a better future. If you want to nominate an organization to be highlighted or a person who's efforts you want to crow about just send me an email to tessalemmons@gmail.com and let me know about it!

The first Project Hope post will be next Weds. Keep an eye out!

Oy Vey!

Well, I've already fallen down on the job of posting my food daily. Yesterday was NOT a good day. We had a car accident during morning rush hour. ::shakes fist at 18-wheeler driver and pickup truck driver who were involved and didn't stop:: Everyone is fine but it caused a lot of chaos for the day. I ended up not eating until lunch. We went to Taco Bell on the way home from getting new tires etc. I, of course, didn't have my books with me and had no idea what was worth how many points. I ended up eating a Zesty Nacho and a Crunch Wrap. Dinner was better. I fixed venison and pork sausage in garlic tomato sauce with onions and rice. No veggies though. I also baked cookies for the Shecky. I found myself picking at the dough though. Bad day. I did, however, make some awesome tuna salad.

Today's food is as follows:

Breakfast:

1 Can Light Vienna Sausages (6 pts)
Baby Carrots (0 pts)
1 Tbsp SW Ranch Dressing (2 pts)

(8 pts total)

Lunch:

1/2 cup Tuna Salad (7 pts)
4 slices bread (4 pts)
1 apple (1 pt )
Baby Carrots (0 pts)
26 Flat Earth Garlic Chips (6 pts)

(18 pts total)

Snack:

Baby Carrots (0 pts)
1 Philly Swirl Pop (1 point)

Dinner:

1 60z chicken breast (6 pts)
1 C Carrots (1 pt )
1 C Lima Beans (2 pts)
1 C Whole Wheat Stove Top Stuffing (4 pts)
1 C Skim Milk (2 pts)

(15 points total)

Snack:

Philly Swirl Italian Ice (2 pts)


44 points for the day.

WOOT! I'll actually get them all in today!

Take Two

Tonight ... I weighed. That same frickin' 5 lbs is back. I didn't much feel like talking on the phone tonight. (Sorry Mom) I waited a while before I wrote out my post. I wanted to review my food diary, only, there wasn't much to review. I was really lax about writing my food down this week. I have no doubt that's what part of those 5 lbs. is from. That got me to thinking about what ELSE I hadn't done this week. I didn't take my medicine the way I was supposed to. My diuretic can't work if I don't TAKE it. My sugars won't stay level if I forget my shot and if I don't take my Reglan before I eat. Yeah. Not a good week at all.

Upon realizing all this I got really angry at myself. I know its no ones fault but my own. No one's responsibility but mine. Why am I sabotaging myself? Why do I keep undermining my efforts to loose all this damned bulk?

The really sad part is that this is a behavioral pattern with me. I get all revved up and ready to loose the weight and then ... it just sort of... dissipates. Why? R. told me he KNEW this was going to happen when my weight loss started so slow. He could see the frustrations building and the irritation growing and saw the "F*ck it" coming from miles away. Like I said, its a pattern.

Now I just have to figure out how to FIX it.

I started fresh tonight. I wrote all my food down that I ate today.

Breakfast:

2 Packets of instant oatmeal 2 points
1 C 2% Milk 3 points

Snack:

2 T Peanut butter 4 pts
2 slices Bread 2 pts
1 sliced Banana 2 pts

Late Lunch:

1 Can Light Vienna Sausages 6 pts

Dinner:

2 Talipia Fish Fillets 12 pts
Encrusted with Tortilla,
Lime and Chipotle
1 C Green Beans 0 pts
1 C Asparagus 0 pts
1 Philly Swirl Pop 1 pt

Snack:

1 apple 1 pt

Total: 33 pts

I want to stay between 34 and 39 points per day. Before bed I'll eat 1 slice of 2% milk cheese for my last point toward 34 and I'll be done for the day.

I don't know any other way to do this. I'm going to post what I eat daily on here for a while along with my thoughts and moods from during the day. Maybe I can find more even ground if I put it all out here.

I seem to have lost sight of why I started this blog. I really should go buy a gun sight, eh?

More Of The Same...

OK. My post yesterday about odd happenings during this week in history just got a little.... odder.

Today, an employee at NASA, here in Houston, took two hostages in the engineering building. He killed one of them and then committed suicide after a 4 hour stand off with the police and FBI.

Since MONDAY, schools in 28 states have received some sort of threat and caused the schools to lock down or be evacuated.

Here's the kicker...

April 20, 1889 Adolf Hitler was born...

Mebbe THAT was the start of it!

Thoughts I Can't Escape

R. made a comment to me that something was weird with this week in history. I want you guys to check this out:

April 16, 2007 Virginia Tech
April 19, 1993 Waco Branch Davidians
April 19, 1995 Oklahoma City Bombing
April 20, 1995 Massacre at Columbine HS

Four of the five biggest tragedies in our nation happened THIS WEEK... over the course of 15 years. It makes me wonder what it is, what caused this phenomenon. Is it Spring Fever? The end of a long, cold winter causing stir crazy people (or perhaps people with Seasonal Depression mebbe?) to suddenly act out? Was there a full moon on all these dates? Allergies got you down? WHAT??? It bothers me. Each of these events was caused by one or two people who just went batshit crazy. How many hundreds of lives were effected? How many parents mourning their children? How many children growing up without the guidance of a steady, loving parental hand?

I look at those dates, those events, and reflect on the horror each brought. I know the impact they made on me and I can only imagine what it did to the people directly effected.

The question that burns the hottest in my mind though is this:

What is it that drives us as a species to destroy our peers as we self-destruct?

Suicide is selfish. Yes. I once said its the most selfish act someone could ever make. I was wrong. Destroying other people by either killing them or leaving them as the survivors of your rampage and your disregard for life in general as you self-destruct in a ball of flaming "Glory"... that's the epitome of selfishness. That's the final act of ultimate narcissism and a perfect expression of the growing sense of entitlement that each generation seems revel in as time goes on.

How do we fix it? How do we make a dent? We start with ourselves and our kids. We fix those same flaws within ourselves and try not to pass them along to the next generation... Man... Shecky is NOT gonna like me much for a while.

I've Been Inspired... To Make A Difference

I was going to make a post about the events of the last few days. The shootings at the University in Virginia. The political pundits and NRA people spouting off about Gun Control pros and cons. The impact that its all making on me and those around me. Then I read this post at Oh, The Joys: Night She said it all much better and even found a solution to help make a positive impact on the world in her own way.

Instead, I have been inspired by Joy. I have a challenge for you all. I know I don't have a lot of readers but even a small group finding a way to positively impact others lives can be a powerful thing. Find something to do. Find a path that interests you that will allow you to positively impact our world. It can be environmental, human wellness, whatever. Just find a way to make a difference. I'm going to research some things and on April 24, 2007 I'm going to post again about what I have decided to do and I hope you all will post your plans to make a difference as well. :)