Fit Pitching

First let me say, I'm sorry.

If any of you have used the ChipIn button on my blog, I am SO very sorry.

There are things coming out about this situation that don't add up. There is speculation that it's a con. I hope to God that's not the case. I WANT to believe it's not the case. I REFUSE to believe it is the case. However, I felt I owe that warning to anyone considering donating.

I'm leaving the button up because I can't bring myself to POSSIBLY cause some one's demise on the CHANCE that it's not a legitimate cry for help.

I hate that about myself.

I find myself in a huge predicament. I placed my trust in someone with the belief that, like me, they are who they say they are. I stopped looking for a way to help support my family financially because I placed my trust in this person. Someone I'd never met face to face, yet, someone I identified with. Someone I clicked with.

I... am an Internet Newb.

Honestly, I DO know better. I know that the Internet allows for easily hiding one's true nature. That it is a breeding ground for con's and grifters. That the less than ethical among us lurk and lure via the Web waiting to pounce on those less suspicious and less savvy than themselves. This is not an unknown quantity to me... However, I choose to still trust. I choose to still be open with my life and what I've learned from it. I choose to reach out and make those connections with the invisible people the world over. I choose not to let the harsh realities of the predators out there change who I am.

I have a conundrum. I have a child that I have to protect. I'm now a little more wary. I'm now a little less trusting. I'm now unsure that those connections are a good thing... because of him... yet... I don't want it to change who I am... because of him.