My Heart Breaks

Note: No matter what you may think of professional wrestling these men and women are athletes and are skilled in many areas such as athleticism, theater, stunt work and charisma. I have friends and acquaintances inside the business and have learned a lot of things about it and the people involved in it. Regardless of your opinions of the genre of entertainment I expect this subject and these lives to be treated with respect and dignity in my comments section.

Chris Benoit, a celebrated wrestler for WWE, his wife Nancy and their 7 year old son are all dead. The police are investigating this as a double murder-suicide and the information making the rounds is that it was at the hands of Chris Benoit... and that the circumstances are bizarre.

I was a fan of Chris Benoit. His work ethic, the fact that he gave his all in the ring and the fact that his matches were always a thing of beauty and skill earned my respect and admiration. Everything I know about him shows that he lived a life of dignity, humility and quiet reserve. I cannot wrap my mind around what has happened or how they are saying it occurred. As a fan of wrestling, and of the personality involved I am devastated and confused.

However, as a parent, I hurt for all of them. His son was 7 years old. My son is just a few days shy of that milestone himself. I cannot fathom harming him or his father much less causing their demise.

I keep reading and thinking about the information I have. I'm not willing to put all of it out here as I have nothing to prove much of it. I've considered it and I can't bring myself to do it. Part of it is because sullying the memory of Chris Benoit's career by spreading the information around makes me feel... dirty. Part of it is because I don't have all the facts. Part of it is because I don't want to believe it. As the mother of an almost 7 year old boy I CAN'T believe that someone could do that to their child, out of the blue, with no warning or signs that something was wrong. Yet, I hear about things every day that show that to be untrue.

I have to wonder what tortured him so that he felt this was the only course of action, to kill his wife and child. Was the first one an accident? The second done after realizing what he had done and, as a result, having a psychotic break? Did he then kill himself out of the abject terror, sorrow and guilt? Did he just flat out snap? If he did, why was it done the way it was? None of it makes sense. None of it, intellectually, adds up. It does make me think. It makes me think about the importance of knowing yourself and seeking help when its necessary and the importance of loving my family and friends with everything I have and holding them close.

No matter what happened. No matter what the circumstances. I hope all 3 of them rest peacefully.